Harry The Innocent
by CNJ
Summary: The winter of Harry's 6th year is a rocky time; Harry's coping with vicious gossip spreading about him as well as finding out something potentially upsetting about himself. Strong language. Chapter 2 is now up!
1. The Probable Truth About Harry

Hii, have another story here! Thanks for all your reviews; they're great and your suggestions are so helpful! Soo, here's another one...it's around the winter of Harry's 6th year at Hogwarts and he's having some real doubts about himself...to make matters worse, some of the students are giving Harry a hard time, badmouthing him and taunting him. The usual disclaimers that none of the characters that Harry fans recognize are mine, much as a I wish that enchanting Harry was; they belong to JK Rowling. Oh, and even though the 1st book hints that Harry's folks died at around Halloween, for creative purposes, I make the date a little after the actual Halloween night; I have his folks die in early November. Sooo, all of you, enjoy this story and review away (not to worry; I'm not the type of author to "blackmail" with _review or I'll stop writing_; I also write these fanfics for my own pleasure as well) !   
  
  
  


**Harry The Innocent**

By: CNJ 

_PG-13_

**1: The Probable Truth About Harry**

**Harry**: 

My eyes opened late that night and I woke up damp with sweat and shivering, remnants of yet another nightmare shattering. I lay there, trying to stop shaking and slow my breathing. It was a rather mixed-up dream, but a basilisk was after me and dead bodies lay around. Somewhere in the background, I was hearing evil laughter. Lately, my dreams have been getting worse and I don't know what to do about it. I've always been nightmare-prone, but now it's getting out of control. I don't know why I have so many awful dreams, but a probable truth has been bothering me now for the past couple of years and is now pushing itself on me for real this year, now that I'm sixteen and right in the middle of year Six at Hogwarts.   
Most others don't know that truth about me, but my close friends, Ron and Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger, Cheria Radwin suspect it, but we've never discussed it...I'm a tad...sensitive. The more I go through in life, the more I suspect it. It's something that embarrasses me; I don't like feeling everything so strongly and feeling "odd." I wince at pain and rarely see others show as much pain as I seem to feel; maybe it's just that others are good at hiding it, I hope.   
Just the other week in early January, my friends and I had spent a Saturday at Hogsmeade, a village students visit on weekends. By five, I was tired and achy and just wanted to head back to the dorm and lie down and read, but my friends were ready for a night on the village. I didn't let on that my feet were killing me and I felt achy and rather overwhelmed, so I forced myself to stay with them and ended up fainting a little later on as we were on our way back to the dorms. My friends had to help me back, in fact, Ron practically had to carry me back, much to my embarrassment.   
I also get upset over things like hearing others badmouthed and at some teasing and just stay upset for hours afterward. Oh, outwardly, I can appear calm and go on with classes and Quidditch practice and talk to friends, but inside, a storm brews inside like a sea and once I'm alone, I find myself brooding. I really wonder if that is normal. The darkest corner of my mind wonders if I'm somehow weak, different, abnormal and strange, even here in the magical world. I hope to Merlin I'm not that odd.   
_ No, Harry, you're not abnormal_, I tried to tell myself. _That's what the Dursleys, those awful muggles you had to live with for fourteen years would love for you to believe_. Thank Merlin I'm free of them now and spend holidays with my Great-Aunt Miranda, who is a witch and my late father's aunt. My dear parents perished in the hands of an evil wizard who goes by the name of Voldemort. I was just a year and three months...oh, dear, how I wish I could remember them; try as much as I will, I just can't and it sometimes saddens me.   
Turning on a bedside lamp, I leaned over and pulled out my parents' photo album and began to leaf through it, hoping to calm myself. It worked because my shivering stopped, my heart rate returned to normal and my nervousness faded. It was replaced with a quiet sadness as I watched my parents wave from their wedding picture. I softly fingered Mum's dark green wedding robe, then Dad's matching dress robe...God, how beautiful they were.   
Turning a few pages, I saw my own baby pictures...me crawling around in the kitchen pulling together spare pots and pans while Mum balanced a checkbook, then got up to start dinner. Dad feeding me with me dripping most of it down my chin, then both of us laughing...Mum holding me by the legs and pretending we were a clock on the wall ticking away. Aunt Miranda told me that I'd delighted in that game and Mum would levitate me into the air close to the ceiling and sing _Tiiiick tock_..._Harry's a clock on the wall_...another one of me sucking my thumb while sitting on a blanket on the floor. I blushed a little at the sight of me as a baby.   
There are also some pictures of Mum and Dad in their Hogwarts days...they actually didn't start going out together until November of their seventh year. They had their groups of friends as well and I suspect they'd had all sorts of experiences and adventures. In Mum's first year, she and her two close friends, Amelia Kovacs and Zara Vinn battled a dragon and won. Dad's third year was when he and his friends informally dubbed themselves The Marauders.   
I turned to the last page and as I looked over those photos, I felt a wash of sadness...their last night alive. It had been early November and they'd gone to a post-Halloween masquerade party. Most of their friends and even Dumbledore and McGonagall had been there. Mum and Dad had also taken me along and I saw one photo of Mum lifting me in the air...I'd been dressed as a leprechaun.   
I know what happened afterward...we'd gone home, feeling happy...once we got home, we'd changed into regular clothes and Mum had taken me upstairs to get me ready to sleep...that's when Voldemort had broken in...oh, no, it's hurting me even now to think of how they died...Dad calling to Mum to take me and run...Mum shielding me and her love infusing me, which is why I survived. Mum had saved me life that night, so she'll always be a hero in my eyes. Is it me or do most others feel the strange tightness inside of me thinking about long-dead parents? I wondered as I put away the album and turned out my lamp. Am I really sensitive? Is there something different about me?   
  
  
  


More later! 


	2. Rot Spreading

Hiii, thanks for the reviews, **Magicrulz** and **Kanashimi**! They were helpful. **Kanashimi**, thanks for your suggestion on the paragraphs; it was a good one, so I broke up the paragraphs in chapter 1, so it'll be an easier read. The usual disclaimers that characters, places, spells, and other things HP fans recognize are not mine; they belong to the wonderful JK Rowlings. The DADA is a made-up character of mine; I don't know any more than anyone else who will be the new DADA teacher in book #5 (just over a month to go, yeeehaaa!). About the part about the length of the reports...I'm not sure how long ten meters is, since I live in the States, so if it's inaccurate, excuse that, thanks. Here's more! Enjoy! 

**Harry the Innocent**

_By_: **CNJ**

_PG-13_

**2: Rot Spreading**

**Harry**: 

"...so Pig has Fred and George's letters and drops them under my bed," Ron added as he and I walked into DADA class together. Once we sat behind Cheria and Hermione, Professor Littwin came in and we quieted down. For these past few weeks, we've been studying security charms, including blocking the apparating spell. Like the one Hogsmeade now has, I thought as we took notes.   
"So...there will be a project due in a month on security spells. Pick one topic of the list I have here on the board and complete report on it. It can be typed on ten sides of plaques or handwritten on ordinary parchment at ten meters. You also can either work alone or in a group. Someplace in the report...add a mini-demonstration of a security charm." Professor Littwin told us. Some kids groaned.   
"Hey, want to work in a group?" Cheria asked us. I nodded.   
"Yeah..." Ron and Hermione chimed in. So we'd all work together.   
"Look at those four, ready to butter up..." I heard someone mutter. Were they talking about us? I wondered fearfully. I tried to ignore whoever it was as we along with others went up and told Professor Littwin of our plans.   
"Clinging onto your cronies more than ever, Potter?" That voice belonged to Malfoy, who is one of the most obnoxious jackasses in Hogwarts history.   
"No more than you hang on to your yes-men," Ron shot back. Malfoy glared at us and his cronies Crabbe and Goyle smirked.   
Suddenly Malfoy's pointy face was next to mine. "You can stop worrying for now, Potter, since we all know you've been scared to go anywhere without your mirrors..."   
"You wish, so just shut up..." I hissed back. I cringed inside. He'd hit just about on the mark. I ducked away from him and sat with my friends. Truth is, ever since Voldemort's return and Cedric's death at the end of fourth year, I have been nervous about wandering far alone. I'm still nervous around portkeys also. But I'd never let anyone see it, especially not Malfoy. My hands were shaking as I sat, much to my dismay. I clenched my fists to steady them.   
"Are you all right?" Hermione asked. I nodded, then we got started in discussing what we'd do our project on. I pulled up my notebook, glad to be able to concentrate on this work and push my upset feelings into the back burner.   
We spent most of the class getting started on our project. Our group had a pile of notes and the class was winding down when a commotion broke out across from us. We looked up to see Cetin Warrington and Vincent Crabbe punching at each other. Cetin grabbed his wand and fired a curse at Vincent, making him stumble back and writhe on the floor. Malfoy was watching the entire thing with a smirk on his face.   
"What is going on here?!" Professor Littwin flew back into the room, from where she'd stepped into her office a minute. By then, Vincent had stopped writhing and was back up. She looked around the Slytherin side. Malfoy gave her this falsely charming smile that almost made me puke. Beside me, Ron pretended to gag. My own hand moved toward them when no one spoke.   
"Mr. Malfoy? Mr. Crabbe?" Professor Littwin pressed.   
"I was just working here on my project; I don't know what that buffoon named Crabbe was up to," Malfoy sat up with a superior look on his face.   
"Mr. Potter, you want to add what you saw?" Professor Littwin saw my hand.   
"Crabbe...and Cetin...they were fighting," I said quietly. "The two of them..."   
"Snitch, why don't you, Potter..." someone muttered from the Slytherin side. Crabbe and Cetin wound up in weekend detention as well as their parents being contacted. The class ended and we filed out silently. My heart was banging wildly and I was shaking. It was lunch time by then, so we headed to the Great Hall to eat, my friends talking all the way, me quiet and shaky. Am I the only one here still upset about the fight? I wondered as we sat. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"...so he just snitched on them..." I heard someone telling another person as I headed upstairs to the dorms after a night of studying in the library.   
"Who...?" It was Owen Cauldwell's voice and he was talking to Justin Finch-Fletchley. "Harry Potter?" I stopped in my tracks on the moving staircase right above them. They continued talking, unaware of my presence right above them.   
"That's right," Justin told him. "From what I heard, Littwin didn't really know who was fighting, but Harry pointed them out."   
"That figures," Owen snorted. "Hogwart's golden boy. Not surprising that he kisses up the teachers here." My heart began banging again and I started to shake. It was almost a replay of my second year when I'd overheard students talking nastily about me and I was targeted for cruel gossip. Justin and Owen are both in Hufflepuff and in my year.   
"That boy always does think he's so much smarter than everyone else," Justin added. I stood immobile a minute, unable to decide whether to come down and confront them or just pretend I didn't hear them. Before I could make up my mind however, they vanished down the hall, leaving me churning inside like a shaken glass ball full of water. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

It didn't end there either. It wasn't the first time this year, I'd overheard myself being badmouthed, but it seemed like lately it's getting worse. Several times for the rest of this week, I'd come into class and see students look at me strangely. I'd try to ignore them and sit and pay attention in class.   
"Well, Potter, looks like others are seeing you for the arse-kisser that you are," Malfoy taunted on Thursday afternoon outside the Great Hall before dinner.   
"And it looks like others see you for the jackass that you are," I snapped back and tried to push past him. Crabbe pushed me rudely back. "Excuse me!" I glared at them.   
"Just you watch your back, Potter," Malfoy hissed. "Most of the teachers, rots that they are are letting you get away with murder and your little henches do your bidding, but soon that will end. If my father and others in the Ministry have any say in it, most of these teachers will go and competent ones will take their places...and they won't let you get by with the crap you've pulled around here!"   
"Leave him alone!" Hermione, Ginny, and Ron came running up. Malfoy back up some when he saw them, but kept his cold gray eyes zeroed in on me.   
"Ahhhh, your little henches to your rescue..." he singsonged. "Everything just falls into place for Potter. You have it all so orchestrated that it's disgusting." With that he stalked into the Great Hall. Malfoy is the one that's disgusting, I thought, fuming as my friends and I entered the Great Hall ourselves. My hands were shaking as we started to eat. My hands have been shaking a lot lately, I realized. I tried to steady them, but they just vibrated like little motors. Great, I thought. It was leaving the Great Hall afterwards that things really got to me. Looking back, I don't know why I let it, but it just...did.   
"...doesn't see that side of Harry Potter..." a Hufflepuff I didn't know was saying. "She never has realized how sneaky he is..."   
"Are you joking?" another student, I think a Ravenclaw put in. "McGonagall practically worships the ground Harry walks on and was cronies with his parents, so of course I guess _honoring_ his dead parents' memory, she'll let him get away with all kinds of rot. Then he has his friends eating out of his hand. I bet they're friends with him just to be associated with the _Boy Who Liiiived_... " I turned and looked in the direction of where the voices were coming from. I think I saw them, but they saw me and snaked on stealthily down the hall. My friends were looking at me in sympathy and Ron glowered after them.   
"Those...shits," Ron spat. "Wait until I get my hands on them!"   
"Thanks, Ron..." I didn't want Ron to wind up in a fight with them. There's enough trouble already. "B-but...it's..." my stomach twisted painfully and I was afraid I was going to throw up right here in the corridor in front of half of Hogwarts. God, no don't let me humiliate myself that way! I silently willed my stomach to stop lurching. But I still was upset and didn't feel up to heading to the library again. "I'm....I'm going back to the dorm...sorry I can't go with you to the library."   
"No problem..." Hermione, Ron, and Cheria chimed. I headed upstairs and to my dorm.   
Once inside, I felt safer, as if the Gryffindor dorm and the Fat Lady were my shield against the hostile gossip I knew was going around about me. A few others were there studying and I joined them. At least I didn't have trouble concentrating on my studies.   
"Are you all right, Harry?" a second year asked softly. Gina, I think is her name. I nodded.   
"Thanks..." I smiled, probably a weak smile at her. I glanced down at my prefect badge. I felt a bit better that at least the Gryffindor students weren't into the gossip. I was still hurting from the scene downstairs, but being here in the Gryffindor dorms soothed me some and my hands stopped shaking so wildly. Just then, the door opened and my friends stepped through.   
"...so, it's just a stopgap measure, not the long-lasting spell," Hermione was finishing. "Harry...are you feeling better?" she asked as the door closed.   
"A little," I sat up.   
"Merlin, I'm so sorry about that mean gossip about you," Ginny told me.   
"They're just talking from ignorance, you know," Cheria added. I looked down at the lion design in the rug of the dorm and traced my finger over the mane. The entire rug is red and gold and really beautiful. We were quiet a minute.   
"Well, no matter what the others say, we'll always stand by you, Harry," Hermione told me.   
"Thanks..." I looked up. "So...did you get lots done?" They'd gotten some work done, so I put in my contribution, which was working out the potion dust that would activate the mini-charm we were adding to our report. My friends and I were the last ones awake. It was close to midnight when we went upstairs. I wrote to my great-aunt, but didn't tell her about any of the gossip I've been overhearing. But somehow I wonder if she sees through my facade of bravado of calm. On the outside, I get the feeling I keep a calm air of being in control, but I have to fight to keep it because on the inside, I've been feeling out of control and upset, especially these past few months and it's gotten worse these past few weeks.   


More soon! 


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